private pleasure
by charlymalfoy
Summary: draco wants to marry harry but harry just wants a lover.i dont own harry and co they belong to jk rawlings
1. Chapter 1

Draco Malfoy tiptoed around the shadowed bedroom, quietly picking up his scattered clothes so he wouldn't wake up the man sprawled on the huge bed dominating the masculine room. Slytherin green sheets were tangled in his long, muscular legs, and by sheer luck managed to drape over his hip just enough to cover him modestly. But the rest of his body was bare... Gloriously, magnificently bare.

Looking away from that distracting chest and lean belly, he concentrated on his search. In his three months of dating Harry Potter he had seen him naked plenty, but the sight of him never failed to arouse all his male instincts. One touch, even a simple, chaste caress, had the ability to melt his heart and body. The scoundrel knew it, too, and used that knowledge to his advantage.

Harry stirred and Draco glanced in his direction. He stretched like a lazy lion. Muscles rippling with movement. The sheet dropping low as he reached for the side of the bed Draco slept in when he spent the night. His hand grappled with air, Draco's vacant pillow, then fell slack. His sable lashes drifted open and their eyes met. Draco stilled.  
He had the most fascinating eyes. Like emeralds with the finest gold. Seductive, warm and altogether too sexy. No-one could explain why he got the gold after defeating old moldy voldie, It just happened. He remembered in 5th year that he had bedroom eyes, the kind of eyes that had the ability to undress a person in a single, sweeping glance, or make a person shed his or her inhibitions and undress him. He'd managed to do both to Draco.

A familiar honeyed warmth flowed through him, and he resisted the urge to do exactly what those incredible eyes were asking: take off the shirt he wore and slide back into bed. The silk boxers he held slithered through his fingers like quicksilver and pooled on the rest of his garments. "Hi," he said  
"Hi, yourself." His voice was a sleepy rumble, his smile pure, unadulterated sin. "What're doin?"  
"Picking up my clothes" Draco replied, finally spotting his sock on the top of the closet.  
Rolling on to his side Harry leaned on his elbow and propped his head on his palm, watching as he bent over. "The view is great, honey, but three hours after the fact isn't the time to start worrying about your clothes getting wrinkled."  
"I know that." He shot him an exasperated look, tempered with a soft smile. "I need to go."

Harry picked up his wand and whispered "Tempus" then glanced back at Draco "It's passed midnight. Stay the night" "I can't." Draco disappeared into the bathroom for a moment and returned with a brush he kept in a draw Harry had given him for his things. Harry frowned. "Why not?" Draco softly said "lumos" illuminating the room in a soft glow. Pulling the brush through his shoulder length hair, he met Harry's gaze in a mirror. "I don't have a change of clothes and I have an early appointment with a very important client." Harry sat up and said "let Ginny handle the account"  
At the mention of Draco's interior design partner and best friend, he shook his head. "He specifically asked for me." Separating his hair into three parts he began braiding the blonde strands. "besides he is a very conservative businessman who wants to redecorate his office. I'm afraid Ginny's splashy, offbeat visions would scare him away"  
Harry chuckled "You've got a point there. Her clientele does tend to run towards the eccentric." "That's why we work so well together." Finding a ribbon on Harry's dresser Draco tied his braid and flipped It over his shoulder. "We each have our own style, which gives our clients more variety"  
Harry crooked his finger at him "C'mere and I'll show you variety", "I've got to go Harry" regret tinged his voice. "Really." Harry sighed heavily : "I hate it when you sneak out on me, you know that, don't you?"  
Draco rolled his eyes at his exaggeration "I never sneak out on you" opening one of Harry's drawers, he rummaged through the contents until he found a pair of tracksuit pants. "Now what are you doing?", "Borrowing a pair of pants so I don't have to wear my suit home." Draco approached the bed, one brow lifted. "Do you mind?"  
"Yeah I mind" quick as a seeker, he manacled his wrist and tumbled him onto the bed. Quicker, he pinned Draco beneath the heat and strength of his body. Draco gasped and stared into green eyes dark with purpose. The pants fell from his fingers and slid to the floor.  
"Do you know," Harry said in a slow, deliberate drawl, "that you look great in my shirt?"  
The meltdown began, liquefying his bones. When Harry wielded that seductive charm of his, he couldn't resist him. Didn't want to. It amazed Draco how gentle and tender Harry could be when they were alone, the ruthless, Arrogant façade he presented to the rest of the world gone. "Yeah?" he prompted huskily.  
"Umm." Harry nuzzled his neck while unbuttoning the shirt in question, his fingers brushing Draco's chest. "You look even better wearing nothing at all." Draco closed his eyes and automatically arched his neck up to Harry's mouth. A shiver of anticipation cascaded down his spine. He had to stop this madness.

"Harry..." his name escaped on a wispy catch of breath. Harry lifted his head to stare into Draco's eyes "You fit into my life perfectly" Harry murmured.  
Draco's heart skipped a beat. Harry's words were the most intimate declaration he'd ever given him. He'd often wondered about fitting into Harry's life, considering the unconventional way their relationship had evolved---- quickly, and with a fiery passion that had both terrified and thrilled him. Harry was like no other man he'd ever known.  
Harry pursued Draco with a single-mindedness, an I-want-you-in-My-bed kind of single-mindedness. Still, knowing his intentions, he'd fallen hard for Harry and his seduction of flowers, dinners and drugging kisses. Then came that fateful night in his office when a kiss became a touch, a touch into a caress, shed clothing and wicked promises. When Harry gently pressed him onto the desk and followed him down, he lost his heart. Although Harry made him none of the promises he longed to hear, he'd been willing to make love to him.  
Much to Draco's own surprise Harry didn't dump him for another conquest, like his reputation stated. He didn't know what made him different from all his other brief affairs, but It never matter to him. They were good together and very compatible in bed... especially in bed, he thought with a smile...though he occasionally felt Harry kept a part of himself distanced from him. Harry pushed the shirt of his shoulder kissing a trail to his nipple and bringing Draco back to the present. "I hate It when you leave in the middle of the night."  
He loved Harry's boyish pout. Smiling, he pressed his hands lightly on Harry's chest, reveling in the feel of his firm muscles "I can't help It."  
Harry dragged his gaze back to Draco's. His expression serious "I want to wake up with you every day." Draco searched his face, seeing a vulnerability that touched a tender chord in him and sped up his pulse. "What Are you saying Harry?" He pulled in a deep breath. "You know I Will Be moving into My new house next week?" "Yes" his "new" house was a breathtaking five thousand square foot custom built home that sat on a hill overlooking Byron Bay. He'd spent the past six months consulting with Harry over tiles, carpet and paint along with selecting all the furnishings for each room. "The decorating was finished two days ago and the furniture should be delivered on Friday. I'd be more than happy to help you pack and move it----"  
Harry pressed two fingers against Draco's lips to stop him babbling "Draco, there's something very important I want to ask you."  
Draco's stomach flip-flopped, then a batch of butterflies hatched. Harry looked nervous, more nervous than he had ever seen him be. Merlin he loved him, had known after 7th year that he was the man he wanted to spend his life and have a family with. Had Harry finally realized that he loved him, too? That marriage was the only logical step in their relationship? Maybe It sounded a bit corny but ever since he was a child he thought of some man asking him to marry him and having his children. In all his fantasies he'd never thought Harry would propose this way but then Harry was always doing things different to how Draco imagined. Draco dampened his bottom lip with his tongue. "What Is It?" he whispered.  
"We've been dating for 3 months now" he stated, his tone rough.  
Draco smiled, trying to lighten the moment for him and put him at ease. "Longer than you've been with anyone ever, I do recall you once telling me"  
"True" Harry agreed, skimming a hand along the curve of Draco's waist to his hip "I don't want anyone but you. You're everything I've every wanted. You're smart beautiful and sexy as hell" Draco twined his arms around Harry's neck "I'm glad you still feel that way", excitement and anticipation mingled "what was it you wanted to ask me?"  
Harry cleared his throat, hesitated, then "Will you... I mean I think we should... aw hell" he muttered in frustration. Seeing how difficult It was for him to propose, Draco decided to make It easy for him. He placed a hand on his cheek certain the love he felt for him shone in his eyes. "Yes, Harry" he whispered. "I'll marry you"  
Harry blanched and jerked away from him, a horrified expression on his face "Marry?" the one word choked out of him. "Yes" Draco frowned. Had he misunderstood his intentions? More cautiously, he continued "That was what you were trying to ask me, wasn't it?"  
Shaking his head wildly, Harry moved off the bed faster than a deatheater apperating "NO!"  
Confused Draco sat up pulling the edge of the shirt around his body "Then what were you going to ask me?"  
Harry paced the floor, his mouth stretched into a grim line. "Harry?"  
Abruptly he stopped a few feet away from his side of the bed " I ... I want you to move into my new house with me" Draco's stomach took a dive a dive of a cliff, taking his heart with it. "move in with you?", he echoed, praying somehow he'd heard him incorrectly.

Harry pushed his fingers through his messy black hair. "It's a practical arrangement, considering how we virtually live together as it is. Most of the time you stay here, but I'm tired of ping-ponging between our units. And with you living with Ginny, we rarely have any privacy at your place."  
Draco stared at the man he loved, trying to claw his way out of the numbing shock and disappointment fogging his mind "You want to live together?"  
Harry breathed a sigh of relief and smiled "Yes" Draco couldn't live on empty promises. Not again. No matter how much he loved him "No." Harry looked taken back by his reply. "No?" "No!" his strength returned on a wave of determination. " I can't live with you Harry" "Why not? You know all my bad habits," he said, then with a shrug he added "not that I have many." Draco lifted a brow at his arrogant assumption.  
"Ok, I have a few habits that are less than desirable" he admitted "but I hardly call squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube a crime. And I know you hate it when I leave my underwear or wet towels lying around, but I eventually pick them up"  
"This isn't about toothpaste or underwear Harry. It's about commitment" "But I am committed to you" Harry said looking offended.  
Draco swallowed the knot in his throat "Not in the way it matters" "Three months is longer than I've ever been with anyone. Doesn't that matter?" Harry said with a clenched jaw.  
Draco smoothed his hands over the cool sheets, unable to lie to him 'Yes it matters", but he wanted and needed more. Harry sat on the edge of the bed searching his face for answers "If it matters, then why won't you move in with me?"  
"Because the day I move in with someone is the day I'm wearing a wedding ring. That's the kind of commitment I'm talking about. A forever kind of commitment, shared by two people in love" Harry rubbed his scar his expression reflecting his misery "You knew I wasn't looking for marriage when we got involved, that I don't intend to get married. Ever." "Yes you did say that but I kept hoping your feelings would change."  
"My feelings have changed" Harry stated "I care for you more than I have ever cared for anyone in my life" "I'm touched. Truly I am." Draco said, aching deep inside for something he knew he would never be "but It's not enough, not anymore."  
"It was enough a month ago, a week ago even an hour ago" Harry pointed out, his voice raising in frustration. "I love you Harry" it wasn't the first time he had said those words to him, yet the sudden terror in his eyes was as fresh as the first time he had declared his emotions to him. Harry blinked away the panic and regained his composure. Grasping his hand he brought it to his lips and held it gently "I know you do, sweetheart..." "Do you Love me?" Draco whispered. Harry's face paled, and the fingers stroking his palm stilled. "I've never asked another person to move in with me" Draco managed a Little laugh "I guess I should consider it an honor, but that's not what I asked you"  
"I don't know if what I feel for you Is 'Love'" he said "Merlin Draco I don't think I even believe in love", that knowledge hurt and saddened him. Draco wondered how he could have missed the cynical side to Harry. "People grow to care for each other and I care for you deeply" Harry went on "Love is just an illusion, a pretty word for something that does not exist." "That's not true," Draco argued "my parents are in Love and they have been happily married for thirty five years"  
Harry shot him a skeptical look "Your parents are in the minority. Mione claims to have been in Love four, no five times since we left Hogwarts and divorced as many times." He shook his head in disgust. "if that Is what Love and marriage is all about then I don't want it."

Harry picked his briefs off the floor and dropped them in the washing basket in the bathroom. "Why is marriage so important to you all of a sudden Draco?" "It has always been important to me" heavyhearted he slid off the bed, knowing that it would be the last time he would ever be in it. How could they be together when they wanted different things.  
Harry blocked his way to his clothes , his dark scowl making him appear imposing "Marriage wasn't important when you move in with Blaise Zabini."  
Draco cringed at the reminder of his previous relationship. "That's why I won't make the same mistake again. And we have known each other long enough to know whether or not marriage would work" he attempted to step around Harry but he blocked the path again his gaze captured Draco's. "Did you Love him?" he asked abruptly. Draco didn't need to ask who he was talking about "Yes" "Did he Love you?"  
"Yes at least for a while Blaise loved me" , "The guy fooled around with women behind your back!" he grabbed Draco's arms, his grip firm but gentle "Doesn't that make you think, even for a moment, that Love isn't all it's cracked up to be?" "That experience has made me cautious about the men I date, but not totally against a life long commitment. I want that Harry and I want that with you, not the convenience of living with someone then deciding you want something better." Draco replied. Harry dropped his hands back to his sides, feeling more defeated than he had in his whole life. Draco was asking for something he didn't have in him to give. He could tell him exactly what he wanted to hear, but if anything, their relationship had been based on honesty and he refused to taint it with lies. And there was no way he'd let him believe he had any intentions of getting married. To anyone. Ever  
" I ... I can't. Draco." He whispered  
tears welled up in his eyes, but he held his chin high. "Then I think we should start seeing other people." Draco skirted past him  
Harry turned just in time to see Draco swipe a tear from his cheek. He never wanted to hurt him. He couldn't give him what he wanted, but he didn't want to lose him either, no matter how selfish it seemed.  
"I don't want to see anyone else Draco" he said as if that might change his mind. "Neither do I, but I want a husband Harry and children. Do you want children?" Draco's question caught him off guard. They had never discussed kids before. But then why would he, he knew that they were never going to be a part of his future.  
"That's what I thought" weary resignation laced Draco's voice. He stepped into his suit pants and shimmied them up those long slender legs Harry had found so enticing when they had met up again. Once they had slept together, those limbs had become an endless source of fascination for him. "You don't want children do you?" Draco asked, an odd catch in his voice.  
Harry dragged a hand over his jaw, despising the old, painful childhood memories creeping up on him. Memories he wanted to remain dead and buried "I'm too young to be a father" Draco's gaze captured his. He was skirting the truth, and the shrewd look in his eyes told Draco he knew it too. "Too young or too scared?  
" What's that supposed to mean?" he automatically responded . Draco gave a one shouldered shrug and slipped on his shoes "Being a parent is a scary proposition"  
Caustic laughter escaped him "Yeah well I'm afraid I didn't have a great roll model growing up therefore parenthood holds little appeal for me."  
"I understand" Draco said softly as he gathered the underwear he didn't put back on. He turned to him, his eyes a misty gray. "I think It's best if we just end things now."  
Harry didn't move, though his hands balled into tight fists at his side. "Just like that, It's over?"  
"We want different things from a relationship. That's obvious now. There's no sense in going any further." he took a shaky breath" goodbye Harry."  
Harry watched Draco walk out of his room and his life, listening to the front door click shut behind him. He sank on the bed, an empty, bleak feeling consuming him. He had spent a majority of his life alone, but he'd never felt so alone until that very moment.


	2. Chapter 2

"Draco, how long do you plan on sitting around moping?" Draco glanced up from the evening news to his best friend Ginny, standing beside the couch with her hands on her skinny hips. She wore a tight leopard top which hugged her curves and skin tight back jeans that disappeared into knee high black leather boots. Her short auburn hair was spiked and today she had charmed her eyes black.  
"I am not moping. Malfoy's do not mope" Draco mumbled, tucking his legs under him on the couch, he wrapped the dressing gown he was wearing tighter around himself and reached for a Bertie Botts bean from the coffee table. "Correction. You never used to mope until a week ago." Ginny waved a hand in the air. "Merlin Draco, you won't even let me delete his messages from the answering machine because you want to hear his voice. We are running out of tape."  
Draco chewed on a bean "I'll buy a new tape if you will just leave me alone"  
"No way!." She exclaimed " Look at you, you're a mess. The only time you leave the house or even brush your hair is when you have to go to work. I mean come on! You usually spend more time of a morning in the bathroom getting ready than I do and I'm female. And you have to eat more, you can't survive on Bertie Botts beans alone."

Draco grabbed another bean and popped it into his mouth "Why not?" Ginny gave an exasperated sigh "I've never seen you this down before, not even when you split with Blaise"  
His break up with Blaise had been a gradual thing but with Harry, it had come so suddenly, without any warning. He loved him more than anyone he had ever been with. He had been in love with Harry since seventh year, but in the end that hadn't been enough. He shoved three more beans in his mouth.  
"Dray" Ginny said gently as she sat beside him "even your mum and dad are concerned about you. Especially your dad. You know how he gets when someone hurts his little girl!" Ginny laughed. "He was ready to pick up his wand and pay Harry a visit!" Draco's head jerked "Please tell me you are joking" Ginny shrugged, a little smile tipping her mouth. "He was feeling a little protective. He really likes Harry we all do and I think he had his hopes set on a wedding and some grandkids"  
Draco groaned at his fathers relentless pursuit to see him married and his continual reminder that he hadn't produced any children yet to bounce on his knee before he got to old to enjoy them. "Yeah well, that's not gunna happen for a while. marriage and kids are not in Harry's vocabulary." "If that's the case, It's time you moved on to new and better things." Ginny announced.  
Draco shuddered at the thought of dating. Of finding someone who shared the same interests as him, who was caring, confident, smart and sensitive. Being sexy didn't hurt either, with black hair and drown-in-them-forever green eyes. Too late he realized he had just described Harry. "I don't want to move on" he said woefully.  
Compassion softened Ginny's expression "Dray, no man is worth all this depression. Take it from me. I know first hand." Yes, she did, Draco thought putting the half eaten bowl of beans aside. After a very rocky relationship had nearly stripped all of her confidence, Ginny had pulled herself from the depths of despair and emerged a whole new person. Ginny is right, Draco thought, I am wallowing in self pity and it changed nothing. It made him feel better but it didn't alter the fact that he was still alone and empty. He didn't think that would change any time soon. Taking a deep breath he met Ginny's caring gaze "Oh Gin, I don't know what to do. I miss him so much it hurts. I almost don't care if he doesn't want to marry me as long as I can be with him. But then I know we would eventually break up again and I would hurt all over again." "I know it's hard, Honey" Ginny said as she held Draco while he cried "I think what you need to do is go out and meet a new man so you can forget about Harry."  
Draco plaited the tassel on his robe "I wish it was as easy as that" "It is" Ginny said.  
Draco frowned skeptical of the sudden enthusiasm in Ginny's eyes "It is?"  
"Yup" she grinned "first we are going to get you a whole new look" Draco gulped "We are?" Ginny nodded her head in the affirmative, smiling "A head to toe makeover" picking up a long strand of Draco's blonde hair, she eyed the length. "Have you ever thought of a new style, maybe having it cut short?" 

Once, right after he got with Harry. But when he mentioned it to Harry he balked at the suggestion, claiming how much he loved his long blonde hair. Gently, but firmly he pulled his hair from Ginny's grasp "No" he lied.

"Too bad. A shorter cut would look awesome on you" grasping Draco's chin between thumb and finger she tilted his head up for her inspection. You've got fantastic cheekbones that any woman in the world would be envious of. Ever thought of charming your eyes a different colour? Green would be stunning."  
Draco pulled his chin back, pursed his lips. "Absolutely not!"

"Ok ok " Ginny said relenting "but we'll definitely have to spruce up that wardrobe of yours"  
"What's the matter with my clothes?" Draco reached for the bowl of beans. Ginny caught his hand and placed it in his lap.  
"Dray, honey, your suits are blasé, and you casual clothes are all baggy and daggy. You have a great figure Honey and a great ass. Display it to your advantage"

Draco pulled the lapels of his gown higher around his neck. "And I've seen that dreadful underwear you wear" Ginny feigned a loud yawn, "Bor-ing... you dress more like a 50 year old than like the 22 year old you are"

"It's comfortable," Draco said, feeling silly that he had to defend his choice of underwear to his best friend.  
Ginny dismissed him with a wave of her bangled arm. "Trust me Silk and Satin feels much better against your skin, and it makes you feel sexy. It will boost your sagging spirits"  
Draco was doubtful that a change in underwear would make his heartache go away but at the moment, looking down at himself in a frumpy dressing gown and socks with holes in them, feeling sexy did hold a certain appeal. "Ok, when do we start This makeover?"  
"This weekend. Friday we'll visit Pierre, my hairdresser, just to trim up the ends of your hair." She assured Draco when he started to protest. "then we will spend the rest of the day getting pampered--- facials, manicures, pedicures, massage. The works"

Draco felt a smile coming on, and gave into the urge to let it spread across his face. "Sounds like an interesting day"  
"Oh, but that's not all" sitting back, she rested an arm across the back of the couch and crossed her long boot covered legs, her face lit up in excitement. "Saturday we spend shopping for your new wardrobe, and in between all this we will clean out your room of any traces of Harry. Last, but certainly not least, you, Hermione and I are going man hunting at Charlie's Dragon's Lair night club"  
"Man hunting?" Draco's voice squeaked.  
"For a new boyfriend" she leaned closer and gave Draco a dazzling smile. "For you"  
"I don't want a new boyfriend" Draco said quietly  
"You don't think you do but, hey life goes on and besides how you gunna get married and give your father grandchildren if you don't get that new man in your life? Cause as he says he is not getting any younger" Ginny commented "Do you remember Rodney Wortman ?"  
The switch in subject threw Draco off " You mean the lawyer who come to see you about redecorating his office?"  
"That's the one. Tall, brunette, Rich with a great body" she recited breezly. "Well he was in the other day and he asked about you" she said tapping her knee with a fingernail. "he sounded really interested, if ya know what I mean."  
The thought of another man touching him even holding his hand bothered him "I don't know, Gin.." "Tell ya what," Ginny cut him off with a wink "I'll tell him you're recently become uninvolved and are very available, and we will let nature take it's course."  
Draco rubbed his forehead. He couldn't mourn Harry forever. There would come a time when he would have to cut his losses and move on and date other men. His heart rebelled, but logically he knew that was the only smart thing to do. Because, ultimately, he wanted a husband and children, and he couldn't do that without a mate.  
He sighed in resignation. "Ok, set me up!"

Ginny clapped her hands in glee "Let the new Draco emerge!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In the lobby of the large modern building where Harry had a floor for his business, Potter Security, Draco waited for one of the lifts to arrive to take him to see Harry. It was late Tuesday afternoon and apart from the building security guard and the occasional robed figure, the building was deserted. Taking a deep breath Draco replayed the pep talk Ginny had given him over brekky. While Ginny packed in three bowls of coco pops, two muffins and four bananas, she told him he needed to take all of Harry's stuff that had been left at their house, so that Draco could get on with his life. At the time Ginny's advice sounded so simple and easy to do, now all Draco wanted to do was find a designated apparision spot, go home and curl up in his frumpy dressing gown and eat Bertie Botts beans.  
The lift doors opened with a soft whoosh. Butterflies swam in Draco's stomach, making him more nervous about seeing Harry, after being away from him for two weeks, two weeks of no appetite, sleepless nights and an ache in the vicinity of his heart. Merlin he didn't think the horrible pain would ever go away.  
Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, he stepped on the lift and pressed the button for the 14th floor before he could change his mind. The doors closed softly enclosing him in the mirrored room. He looked at his reflection in the mirror across from him, the man staring back looked like a total stranger. With Ginny's coaxing Draco allowed the hairdresser to cut his long hair to a sleek shoulder length bob with a couple of toffee and chocolate streaks, that softened his features and drew attention to his large gray eyes and the cheekbones that Ginny envied. He wondered what Harry would think of his new look, not that he cared, he reminded himself.  
The lift stopped on the third flood to pick up a woman that looked Draco up and down and decided she liked what she saw. Draco smiled and turned away from her showing he wasn't interested. The woman got off on the fifth floor leaving Draco alone again with his thoughts. This time when he caught his reflection, memories of a time he was in the lift with Harry washed over him. They had been to a meeting with the builders of Harry's new house and were on the way back to Harry's office when Harry leant over and pressed the emergency stop button.  
Draco closed his eyes in an effort to stop the memory playing in his mind but the memory wouldn't go away. In his mind's eye he could See Harry moving towards him, with a sexy gleam in his eyes. Harry had pressed Draco against the mirrored wall and skimmed his robe up his thighs to his waist then Harry had hooked his fingers into the top of Draco's trousers. Draco gasped as Harry peeled his trousers and boxers down his legs in one smooth motion. "Harry, what are you doing?" Draco asked even though he obediently stepped out of his shoes and trousers. Harry kicked the pants out of the way, his smile wicked. Untying Draco's hair he tossed the ribbon onto the floor, running his fingers through his hair and arranging it around his shoulders. "I want you" Harry whispered huskily "now" Draco's body swelled with heat and desire "We can't do this here, Harry!" Draco's shocked tone seemed to amuse Harry and fire his passion. He pressed his hips into Draco, his erection rock hard and insistent between them. "sure we can, sweetheart" Harry bought his mouth down to Draco's ear, his tongue touching the sensitive lobe as he whispered " It's late and there are two other lifts. No-one Is going to notice if this lift doesn't move for a while" Harry's hands explored beneath Draco's robes again, touching him intimately finding him hard and slick with pre cum and ready for him. Harry groaned into Draco's neck. "Oh, Harry" Draco's knees buckled, but the weight of Harry's body held him upright. Harry stroked Draco and was rewarded with a whimper and a plea. Harry looked into Draco's eyes and said " This Is a fantasy of mine that I've had about a millions time. Every time I rode alone in theses lifts I've thought of being in here with you like this. Indulge me"  
"This Is so ..." Draco's breath caught as Harry's mouth closed over his swollen member.  
"Erotic?" Harry asked in between kisses and long slow laps of his tongue. "Yes" Draco hissed, unable to ignore the thrill of excitement Harry's seduction evoked. Letting his head fall back and his body melt for Harry he tangled his fingers in Harry's hair. "It's only gunna get better, Baby" Harry promised huskily, his tongue warm and damp skimmed the inside of Draco's passage. "Watch the mirror before they start to steam up." Draco had, the things Harry had done to him had taken him beyond anything he had ever experienced. They had made Love in the lift, not once but twice, each time wild in it's intensity. Draco groaned, remembering every erotic word Harry had whispered, the slide of his mouth, the hands on his body and the desperate way he had clung to Harry when he had finally thrust deep inside him.  
"Draco? Are you ok?" a distant feminine voice queried "Draco?

Draco blinked open his eyes, horrified to find that the lift doors were wide open to the reception area. Harry's secretary, Pansy, was looking at him oddly. She had an attaché case in one hand and her purse over her shoulder as if she was leaving for the night.  
The lift doors were starting to close so Pansy quickly stopped them with her hand. "Draco?"  
Draco snapped out of his haze with a firm mental shake. "I'm sorry Pans, I must have been daydreaming" Stepping of the lift he held up the packages in his hands. After that arousing trip down memory lane he just wanted to leave Harry's things at the front desk and run away. "I just wanted to drop off a few of Harry's things"  
Pansy hurried to the desk and set her case and purse down "Let me just buzz Harry" she reached for the phone. "that's not necessary, Pansy" Draco quickly assured her "I'll just leave these things here at the desk and you can give them to him after I leave"  
Pansy shook her head "He'd be upset with me if I didn't tell him you were here, it takes very little to set him off at the moment, he has been a real grouch lately." She confided in a low voice. But there was affection for her boss in her tone, as well as understanding. "I have strict instructions to notify him if you call, so I'm sure that applies if you happen to drop in too."  
"Harry, sorry to bother you but Draco Is here." Pansy paused, then said "no I don't mind staying a bit longer to get the call from Fred." Pansy hung up the phone and gave Draco an apologetic smile. "You know the way"  
Draco nodded and forced himself down the long red and gold carpeted corridor to Harry's office. With each step his nerves increased and his heart pounded in his chest. Stopping in front of Harry's door , he took a deep breath, determined to get through this as quickly as possible and leave with his pride and emotions intact.  
Draco entered the large, spacious room and Harry immediately stood from behind the desk cluttered with scrolls and a computer screen with Draco as a background.  
"You haven't returned any of my calls!" Harry blurted out accusingly.  
Draco cringed guiltily. Stopping just inside the door, his heart gave a leap. Harry looked awful, he thought, unable to recall a time when he had ever seen Harry looking this weary and worn out. His dark hair was messier than usual, he had stubble on his face and he looked like he hadn't been eating properly. His clothes were all wrinkled like he had slept in them last night.  
Resisting the urge to go to him, to help chase away the misery Draco could see in his eyes, he set the bags on the chair next to Harry's desk. "I didn't return your calls because I knew I would be seeing you in person" why had that sound better when Ginny was coaching him?  
"Dammit, Draco, this is crazy. I was hoping you would come to your senses about us, but..." Harry frowned at him then a horrified expression twisted his features. He shot around his desk so fast Draco didn't have a chance to react before Harry was in front of him, gasping "What in hell did you do to your hair?" his voice was a small roar.  
Self- consciously Draco touched his hair, trying not to feel regret. He couldn't live his life for Harry when he was no longer a part of it, he reminded himself. He squared his shoulders "I cut it "he sounded self-assured, like a man in control. So why didn't he feel that way?  
"Obviously," Harry said dryly  
Harry was looking at his hair like he'd cut off a limb instead. All at once Draco remembered the way Harry use to wind his fist in to his hair and gently tug his head back for a kiss, or the way it would cascade over Harry's body when he urged Draco to be the aggressor.  
Meeting Harry's smoldering gaze, Draco realized Harry was thinking the same things. He bit his bottom lip and looked away. Ginny promised This last goodbye would be easy. His best friend had lied. Seeing Harry again and knowing he could never have him hurt worst than the original breakup.  
Harry's gaze narrowed. "Ginny had something to do with your hair, didn't she?"  
Draco's mouth pursed in irritation." Of course not"  
Liar, Harry thought absorbing other changes he hadn't noticed when Draco first walked in; he'd been to caught up in venting his frustration that Draco had been ignoring him for two weeks.  
Harry's gaze dropped lower, and his jaw tightened right along with the rest of his body. Under the robe that Draco had taken off and handed to Pansy on his way in he was wearing a pair of skintight denim jeans that showed Harry every curve of his hips and ass, and a black net shirt over a white singlet top. As a whole Draco looked sophisticated and damn sexy.  
"I don't think I've ever seen you in muggle clothes before" Harry said. He would have remembered. Oh man would he have remembered. Raw possessiveness ran through him and he had the barbaric inclination to hex any man who dared to ogle Draco. Draco had no right to look so fresh and sassy, not when he himself felt like death warmed up.  
The aggravation of the last two weeks came back " This new 'look' of yours was Ginny's idea, wasn't it? The hair, your clothes," Harry said, gesturing to each. "next time I see you your eyes will probably be purple!"  
Draco sighed and moved away, towards the windows overlooking the Brisbane river. "I didn't come here to discuss my best friend, my hair or the choice of my clothes"  
"Or lack there of" Harry muttered rubbing a hand over his jaw.  
Draco shot him a look over his shoulder. "Harry, please don't make this any harder than it already is. I don't want to fight. In fact, I'd like us to be ... friends"  
"Friends?" Harry said. Dammit he didn't want a casual friendship with Draco, not after he had experienced how good it could be between them. "after everything we have meant to each other, everything we have shared you want to revert to being just friends?"  
"Yes. I'd like to think we are adult enough to maintain a friendship" Draco answered  
"I don't want to be just your friend Draco" he strode towards Draco and grasped his hands, looking deep into his eyes "I want to be you lover. I want it to be the way it was between us"  
"And I want marriage and babies" Draco countered  
The mere words made Harry cringe, which he knew Draco saw.  
Draco withdrew his hands from Harry "I want you to know that I'm seeing someone else"  
The thought of another man touching him mad Harry feel violent. "great,' he muttered "just great" stomach churning he fished into his pocket for the potion for indigestion that had become his constant companion the past fourteen days.  
"I think you should find some one too" Draco said softly.  
Harry laughed harshly. "How can I when every person I look at doesn't even come close to comparing to you? Dammit Draco I miss you. I can't sleep at night, can't concentrate during the day and I chug potions by the dozen and I hate the damn things! I've been a bear to be around, too, ask Pansy"  
"I'm sorry" Draco whispered softly.  
Stopping abruptly in front of Draco he dragged his eyes to face back to his face "You should be, It's your fault, you know. I can't let you go. You're with me every second of every day, and at night..." Harry touched his cheek, letting Draco's imagination take over.  
Draco's breath caught in his throat "Harry, Stop" 

"Why? It's the truth" Harry could see Draco was fighting against what he truly wanted. Pressing on before he lost his advantage Harry stepped closer until their clothes brushed. Draco tried to take a step back but the window stopped him. Harry didn't touch Draco, but he planned to...  
In a low husky voice he continued. "Every night I go to bed thinking of you. I dream of you. And when I wake up in the morning I'm hard and aching. I always reach for you but you aren't there any more.  
The pulse at the base of Draco's neck fluttered "Being apart Is just as difficult for me"  
"Is it?" bracing his hands on the window on both sides of Draco's head, Harry trapped him within his arms "do you wake up the same way? Wanting me? Hard and aching?" Draco's gaze darkening telling Harry what his mouth wasn't. Harry dipped his head so that his lips were grazing Draco's ear whispering '" and when you wake up and I'm not there do you close your eyes and imagine my hands and mouth on you, touching and stroking you in that special way that makes you come for me?"  
A tiny groan escaped Draco, and he pressed his hands to Harry's chest. The front of his tight jeans became uncomfortably tighter, but he kept a tight rein on his needs. "You don't play fair, Potter."  
"My offer still stands" Harry said suddenly.  
A little frown marred Draco's brow, and the passionate haze cleared form his eyes. "To move in with you?"  
"Yes"  
Draco made a sound of disgust and gave Harry a shove, hard enough for him to take a step back and enough for Draco to slip out from between him and the window " Then my answer is still the same"  
"It doesn't have to be this way" Harry said, his voice rising in frustration. "we were perfectly happy until..."  
"Until what? Until I realized you didn't and couldn't love me? Until marriage was mentioned and I realized we were looking at our relationship from two different angles?" Hurt filled Draco's voice "I can't just make my feelings about marriage and kids go away Harry, I want a lifelong commitment with a man that loves me as much as I love him, I want babies before I'm to old to enjoy them. And I don't want to waste a year or two loving you when I know I will eventually have to move on"  
Draco picked up the bags he put down when he arrived and set them on the desk "Here are the last of your things that were at my place"  
"I guess this is really it then?" Harry said sadly.  
"Yeah" Draco whispered, then asked "Are you still coming to my fathers 50th birthday party?"  
"Am I still invited?" Harry asked  
"Of course you are. My father has always thought very highly of you?" Draco answered  
"even after our break up?'  
Draco paused for a moment, as thinking of a proper response. "Dad was... disappointed to hear we're not dating anymore, but he still respects you."  
"Are we still going to the party together?" Harry asked as that had been the plan two months ago.  
Draco shook his head "I don't think that would be such a good idea"  
"Why not?"  
Draco dampened his bottom lip with his tongue and looked away. "Because we are not a couple anymore"  
The crushing band around Harry's chest tightened. He was feeling desperate ... almost desperate enough to blurt out the words he knew Draco wanted to hear from him. "Draco..."  
"Harry" Pansy's voice drifted through the intercom on his desk. "the call from Mr. Weasley that you have been waiting for is on line two"  
"Thank you, Pansy, I'll take the call and you can go home"

Harry wanted Draco to stay, but he was already inching towards the door "I've got to go, anyway, Harry " he said, gliding across the room, further and further away from Harry. Hand on the doorknob, he paused gray eyes wide and filled with conflicting emotions. "I guess I will see you at dad's Come as you're not party."  
Two weeks. How was Harry going to survive another fourteen days without seeing Draco? Touching him? Talking and laughing with him? Fourteen days of wondering if this other guy he was dating would offer him the two things he couldn't give him. Any man would be a fool not to.  
The roll of quickeze Harry was holding, snapped in half between his fingers "Yeah, I'll see you there."

Bottom of Form


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

"Christ, Harry you look like shit"  
Harry glanced up as his best friend and business partner, Ron Weasley, slid onto the vacant barstool next to him. "Yeah well I feel like it too" he muttered taking a gulp of his second Firewhisky.  
Ron grinned and signaled the bartender, "Hey, Bruce, I'll take a Tooheys New and.." Ron glanced at Harry "Uh-oh. straight Firewhisky?"  
Harry rattled his ice in his empty glass "make it a double"  
"Looks like I'm the driver tonight" Ron said, snatching Harry's keys off the bar and pocketing them. "but I suppose the favor is long over due, considering how many times you've bailed me out of this place at closing time"  
"Yeah well, if I start singing or something, put me in a full body bind and AK me"  
"Will do!" saluting Harry with his beer bottle, Ron took a drink.  
Harry and Ron had met on the way to Hogwarts and had became best friends. After defeating He Who Must Not Be Named , Harry decided to move to Australia to get away from the media and Ron and his wife at the time decided to come with him. Harry had helped Ron get through his divorce from their other best friend Hermione. Now Ron was engaged to Pansy Parkinson.  
Ron whistled low and gave Harry a friendly slap on the back. "Man, you got it bad for him don't ya?"  
Harry's reply was distinctly profane.  
Ron chuckled, unoffended. "Yes indeed, my friend you're as good as gone"  
Harry didn't care for the sound of that. He'd always been able to walk away from other relationships unscathed, so why couldn't he with Draco? Thing was he didn't want to forget Draco.  
"It's hell getting dumped, isn't it?" Ron commented.  
Maybe that's what was wrong, Harry thought, staring into his glass. In all his dating he had never been dumped. He'd always been the one to walk away from a relationship before they got to intense, breaking more hearts than he cared to remember. No-one had ever walked away from him.  
He frowned. Although Draco's rejection stung his pride and bruised his ego, there was a deeper level to his depression he didn't understand. Without Draco in his life, life just wasn't the same.  
"Man, have you seen him lately, Harry?" Ron was saying as he scooped a handful of nuts off the bar "He's got this great new haircut, and he's traded in his suits for these really tight jean and shirts that show of his really nice ar...ms"  
Harry glared at Ron. "Hey I wasn't the only one looking, Harry !" Ron said  
"Where have you seen Draco?" Harry demanded.  
"I've seen him a couple of times at Charlies nightclub" Ron shrugged, "He was there Saturday night" " The Dragon Lair?" Harry's stomach felt as though someone had just put it through a spin cycle "that place is a meat market."  
Ron grinned wolfishly "Yeah, Grade-A Quality meat"  
Harry gulped the last of his whisky, the liquor went down like a blazing inferno. "Who was he with"  
"Ginny"  
"Figures" he muttered. Anyone else?"  
"Just the eight or ten guys trying to hit on him" Ron took a sip of beer "I have to tell you, even though I'm straight, I thought Draco was looking HOT!"  
Great. Just what Harry didn't want to hear. "Did he dance with anyone?" And why was he torturing himself with all these questions when he didn't really want to know the answers?  
"No but not for a lack of being asked"  
Harry scrubbed a hand over his jaw and swore.  
"I went up to him and said hi, we talked for a bit until some guy he knew arrived."  
Harry hung his head. "Must have been the guy he said he was dating"  
"From what Ginny told me he, he's a Lawyer"  
"Did he dance with him?" Tell me no, because I can't stand the thought of Draco's body being pressed against another man.  
"No" Ron said.  
Harry closed his eyes and blew out a relieved breath.  
But he did leave with him" Ron continued. "I've never seen you so torn up about someone before"  
" I just don't know what went wrong between him and I. It was good between us. Nearly perfect." Harry shook his head.  
"I bet you guys settled into a nice, comfortable routine, right?" Ron asked  
'Yeah, I guess so" Harry answered.  
"That's usually a sign that the romance is gone from the relationship" Ron said draining the rest of his beer "and when it's gone they start looking for something deeper. Usually a ring or a forever kind of commitment. That's usually the time to move on or rethink the relationship"  
Harry didn't want to move on. "ok Ron I've rethought the relationship and I want to keep it." He couldn't believe he was gunna ask Ron for help "so what do I do now?"  
"Romance him. Draco loves that kind of stuff" Ron replied.  
Harry's head began to pound. He had never had to work so hard to keep someone but maybe that's what Draco wanted. He had nothing left to lose.

" The flowers have got to stop" Ginny walked into the office carrying another flower arrangement. "The place is starting to look like a funeral home. But then it kind of matches your mood around here lately"  
"How am I supposed to make him stop sending them?" Draco asked absently stroking the soft satiny petals.  
"Have you tried calling him to tell him to stop?" Ginny asked  
"Yes but he is never in his office, and Pansy doesn't know anything about the flowers"  
"I'm impressed" Ginny said generously " at least he isn't making Pansy order them, like most bosses would make their secretaries do."  
Draco agreed, secretly pleased that Harry was taking the time to do this himself "I told Pansy to tell him to please stop. I guess he hasn't go the message yet"  
"Or he is ignoring it, which is probably the case" Ginny winked a violet eye at him, which matched her hair colour for the day "men don't like being turned down or dumped"

"I didn't dump him" Draco said emphatically "I just thought we should go our separate ways"   
'It's the same thing Dray" Ginny plucked the little envelope nestled in the arrangement. "Lets see what he has to say for himself this time"

Draco snatched the card from Ginny's hand " Incase you can't read Virginia it say my name on here not yours"

Draco read the card and gave a little giggle.  
Ginny grabbed the card and read it ' tu-lips are better than one. Always yours, Harry' she chuckled and shook her head "The man has a way with words"

Ginny moved to the front of Draco's desk " I have to admit , it is kind of romantic. It's flattering to know someone will go to so much trouble for you."

"Flowers are not going to change my mind about the way I feel" Draco said

"I have to tell you Dray I didn't think Harry had it in him to be this romantic" Ginny said with her nose in the tulips.  
"Is Rodney romantic" Ginny asked  
Draco glanced up from the card he was holding "He is...Nice"

"Nice?" Ginny looked as if Draco was from another planet "Puffinkins are nice, Dray. Cauldron cakes are nice. Rodney is a gorgeous male specimen."  
Ginny perched on the edge of Draco's desk "so tell me... Is he a good kisser?"  
"He's ok" Rodney kissed like he was in a hurry to move on, leaving Draco no time to protest.  
Ginny leaned closer, eyes sparkling mischievously. "Have you guys, well, you know?"  
The thought of doing you know what with Rodney left Draco unmoved, although Rodney seemed intent on reaching that goal. Draco didn't know how much longer he would be able to hold him off without coming out and bruising that ego of his. "No"  
"No?" Ginny sounded disappointed then looked a little worried "he's not straight is he?"  
"No" Draco snorted "he has more hands at the end of our dates that the giant squid. I'm just not ready to go that far yet" then added "we're going to dad's party together but I'm ending things after that. I don't want to string him along"

A voice cleared in the direction of the door and they both swiveled their heads to see who it was. It was a delivery boy "Is there a Mr. Draco Malfoy here?"  
Draco sat up straighter "Uh, that's me"

"This is for you" the boy handed Draco a gift across the desk.  
'"Thank you very much" Draco said graciously  
"My pleasure, enjoy your gift. Your boyfriend selected it himself"  
"Where's it from?" Ginny asked once the boy had left  
"Bra's 'n' Things" Draco read on the side of the box.  
"Sounds interesting. Hurry up and open it" Ginny urged  
Before he lost his nerve Draco untied the little green and silver bow and ripped of the paper Draco stared into the box stunned.  
"Oh my god" Ginny gasped a huge grin spreading across her face" The man sure knows woman's underwear"  
The "underwear consisted of a black satin and lace garter belt, three pairs of black, sexy sheer panties and three sets of black, thigh high silk stockings with lace encircling the tops. One pair had a seam running down the back another pair had a smoky tinge to them and the last pair had a delicate dragon embroided into the stocking on the ankle. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Draco retrieved the envelope and read Harry's message inside

Let me tell you a fantasy of mine, of you  
Wearing black garters and stocking and  
A wispy pair of panties beneath a sexy,  
Short black dress. It's night and although  
There are people all around, no-one can see  
Us in our private corner as I caress the  
Smooth skin of your thigh where the  
Stockings end, and I touch you where you're  
Hard, warm and sensitive.

Remember the fantasy...

Always Harry

Draco groaned, he was glad to be sitting behind his desk to hide the erection that was straining against his suit.  
"That good, hey?" Ginny asked, seeing Draco's blush.  
Draco nodded, pressing his legs together to ease the ache between them.  
Ginny tried taking a peek at the card but he quickly stuffed it back in its envelope and putting it in his desk drawer. Ginny pouted "Aren't you gunna share?"

Draco shook his head, still unable to speak, trying to get Harry's written words out of his mind. "What am I going to do with all this stuff" he finally asked.  
"Wear some to your father's party and give the rest to me" Ginny said hopefully, sliding out the door "Enjoy the romance while it lasts because it never lasts for long."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Harry recognized the hungry gleam in Draco's date's eyes, a predatory look that told everyone at the party that he was going to get lucky tonight with the man on his arm. If they hadn't already slept together – and Harry doubted they had by the way Draco stood stiffly beside him - then Mr. Witch weekly planned on it happening tonight.  
Not if I can prevent it, Harry thought, stamping the savage urge to plant his fist into the Lawyers face. Lucius Malfoy's Come as you're not party was hardly the place to stake his claim on Draco.  
Tugging the black bow tie around his neck, Harry watched the pair from across the crowded ballroom in the Malfoy manor. They stood in the reception line to greet Lucius and Narcissa . White-robed waiters served appetizers and champagne. Men stood in groups talking, while the women moved around the room checking out all the men.  
Harry couldn't take his eyes off Draco. Draco was wearing a body hugging almost not there black dress that gave the impression that it was see through. Short sleeves hung of his shoulders showing a lot more neck than Harry was comfortable with Draco displaying. The hem of the dress gave way to long legs that were incased in sheer black stocking held up by a lacy garter. Harry stared hard at the stockings, but at that distance he couldn't see if they were a pair of the ones he had sent.  
Mr. Witch weekly bent his head next to Draco's and said something that made him tilt his head back and smile. His silky hair ruffling before settling like a soft cloud around his face. Mr. witch weekly pressed a hand to the base of Draco's spine and guided him forward. Harry's gut clenched at that intimate touch making him clench his fists and shoving them into his pockets.  
"He does look stunning, don't you think?"  
Harry glanced at the woman standing beside him, wearing a fake beard. He met cobalt blue eyes brimming with amusement and scowled "You're corrupting him, Ginny"  
Ginny laughed the sound throaty enough to draw attention of every straight man there. "And it's so much fun. My straight laced best friend has hatched from his cocoon"  
Harry grunted a reply. Translated it would have made even Hagrid blush.

Taking a sip of her champagne, Ginny regarded Harry over the rim of her glass "You mean to tell me, honestly, that you don't like his new look?"  
Admittedly, Draco's new look was starting to grow on him. "I liked him fine the way he was before you decided to play fairy godmother"  
Ginny grinned as if Harry had complimented her. " He needed a change, especially if he wants to catch himself a husband"

Harry looked around for a waiter. He really needed a stiff drink. "I'm surprised you didn't have a list of single men lined up for him." He commented dryly.  
She waved her near empty glass towards Draco. "I thought Rodney was a decent catch, but Draco is being difficult"  
Harry's jaw dropped, though he told himself he shouldn't have been surprised. "You set them up?"  
Ginny shrugged and drank the last of her champagne.  
"Ginny, I'm gunna strangle you" Harry growled  
"Nah ya won't" Ginny said, batting her lashes at him "you like me too much"

Despite Ginny's brash ways and smart mouth Harry did like her.  
Ginny placed a hand on Harry's jacketed arm her expression suddenly serious "Harry, Draco is crazy about you, I won't lie to you about that, but if you won't marry him let him go so he can find someone who will"  
Harry couldn't, the thought of not having Draco in his life was equivalent to carving his heart out of his chest "I think I might go meet Draco's new boyfriend" he flashed Ginny a smile and strode over to Draco.

Draco turned, and his gaze fell on Harry as he approached. Draco looked startled, torn and a little wary. Harry had almost reached Draco's side when Lucius saw him. Harry couldn't very well ignore the guest of honor. He shook hands with the older man while watching out of the corner of his eye as Mr. Witch weekly led Draco in the opposite direction. Something on Draco's ankle caught Harry's attention and he knew a moment of supreme satisfaction.  
He'd catch up with Draco later.

Dinner was served and Harry found himself seated next to a young man with short blonde hair wearing a pair of round glasses and a lightning scar. He had come on to Harry as soon as they sat down to eat, making sure Harry knew that he was very single and very interested in him. As soon as the desert plates were cleared away Harry politely excused himself ignoring the blonde man's disappointed pout. It was time to go see Draco and his date.  
Dining music was replaced with something up beat for dancing. The floor filled up with people fast. Finally Harry spotted Draco and his date standing in a darkened area of the ballroom. The other man was stroking Draco's cheek and was subtly easing him deeper into the shadows. His head dipping towards Draco.  
Harry strode towards them determinedly, his skin heating with jealousy. Cool it Potter as much as you would like to tighten that choker around Mr. WW's neck, Draco wouldn't like the scene.

"Draco?" Harry said as he neared, causing Draco's date to stiffen and pull away when he was about to plant a kiss "I thought that was you!"  
Draco looked at first startled, then relieved by his interruption. He moved out of the shadows and into the open.  
"It's good to see you, Draco, it seems like forever since we've seen each other."  
Harry turned to the brunette and held out a hand "I don't think we have met before, I'm Harry Potter a good friend of Draco's"  
"Rodney Wortman, nice to meet you" reluctantly he shook Harry's hand "any friend of Draco's is a friend of mine"  
Sap, Harry thought, wondering what Draco saw in the other man.  
"Would you mind if I stole Draco for a few moments for a quick dance?" Harry asked pleasantly making it difficult for Rodney to refuse without making him look like a jealous lover. "to catch up on old times?"  
A tight smile claimed Rodney's lips "I suppose I could let Draco out of my sight for one short dance"  
Harry led a silent and obviously fuming Draco to the dance floor. A slow song had just started and Harry pulled a reluctant Draco into his arms.  
Confusing emotions clouded Draco's eyes "when did you become so callous?"  
"I'm a desperate man," Harry said softly, truthfully. "when did your taste in men take such a drastic turn for the worst?"  
Draco bristled and tried to put some distance between their bodies but Harry refused to loosen his hold. "Who I date is of no concern to you anymore"  
"Is Rodney marriage material" Harry asked.  
Hurt flashed in Draco's eyes, cutting Harry deeper than he thought possible "more so than you will ever be"  
I deserved that, Harry thought. The song came to an end and Draco slipped from his grasp and walked away spine straight and head held high.  
Draco made his way out the French doors leading to a wide deck overlooking the gardens. Finding a secluded spot away from the crowd he leaned against the cool marble railing and drew in a deep breath.  
Draco couldn't stop trembling and it was all Harry's fault he was angry at him for his behavior and disturbed that he still had the ability to arouse him so quickly and easily.  
Dragging his hand through his hair, he tried to dismiss the way his body throbbed from the pure torture of being pressed against Harry.

"So, have you and the Lawyer slept together?"  
Draco jumped at the voice behind him not really surprised that Harry had found him. The man didn't handle rejection well. "That's none of your business" he said not bothering to turn around. Harry's hands curled around the railing on either side of Draco trapping him. The length of him brushed against Draco. Draco's heart rate accelerated and a honeyed warmth flowed through his veins. Harry lowered his lips closer to Draco's ear "You look great tonight"  
A melting sensation rippled through Draco "Harry you have to stop this" he whispers. Because I don't have the strength to resist you.

'I can't" Harry swore and grasping Draco's arm, backed him into a dark private corner of the deck behind a big leafy plant. Faster than Draco could gather his wits Harry's legs bracketed his and a hand slid from his knee, up his thigh and beneath the hem of his dress.  
Draco gasped in shock but couldn't move away.  
But it was shamingly obvious what Harry was doing as Harry's hand trailed the stocking and garter belt he had worn. The one's Harry had bought him.  
Harry's grin was pure unadulterated sin as he whispered, "Remember the fantasy?"

Draco groaned as the words Harry had written flooded through his mind, making him remember vividly the things he wanted to do to him while he wore the stuff Harry had sent.  
Draco whimpered "Harry"  
"Shh Baby, Harry whispered his warm mouth nuzzling his neck. His fingers traced the elastic band of Draco's panties before sliding back down and out of the dress.  
Harry said nothing as he slid the top of Draco's dress down leaving him in nothing but the stockings and garter belt. Watching him, Harry licked a finger and touched Draco's sensitive nipple, Draco's breath caught in his throat and before he could cry out his mouth was covered with Harry's in a deep drugging kiss that made his head spin. Harry's tongue sought and tangled with Draco's. With a foot Harry nudged Draco's legs apart until he was straddling Harry's thighs and Harry's erection was strained between them.  
Merlin help him, Draco wanted him despite where they were and the risk of getting caught. His body buzzed with desire. Harry stroked him, in a way he knew made him shatter into a thousand pieces. Draco moaned as he blew his load all over Harry's hand.  
Draco wanted Harry inside him, needing to touch Harry he slid his hands inside Harry's jacket and rubbed against the firm chest slowly sliding his hands down to Harry's zip he lowered it and pulled out Harry's straining hard-on. Harry wrapped his hand around his own penis and using Draco's cum slicked himself up. Draco put his legs around Harry's waist and with no preparation Harry was sheathed in Draco. Pounding into him like there was no tomorrow. Draco's head was thrown back letting Harry lick and bite his neck, he was moaning loudly, not caring if anyone heard. Draco's body convulsed in waves of ecstasy and moaned into his mouth as Harry thrust up hard and he could feel the pulsing heat of Harry's release in his ass.

Harry slowly broke their kiss and rested his forehead on Draco's until he regained a normal breathing pattern. With a tenderness that touched Draco's heart Harry helped Draco put his dress back on. He rubbed his thumb over Draco's bottom lip "Night Sweetheart" he murmured huskily. Thrusting his hands into his pockets he turned and strode away.

Tears of anger burned the back of Draco's throat and filled his eyes "Damn you Harry" he whispered.  
Harry had seduced him deliberately. Like a possession. He had marked him branding him as his so no other man would touch him.  
Draco thought about everything that happened and realized with a sickening horror that during the heat of passion neither one of them had cast the charm to prevent pregnancy.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

You're as much to blame, Draco's conscience mocked. You didn't even try to resist him.

Two hands settled heavily on Draco's hips, and a distinctly male body crowded him from behind. Abruptly Draco whirled around his palm midway to the man's cheek before he realized it was Rodney. Draco immediately jerked back and dropped his hand to his side.  
Rodney looked as surprised as Draco was. "Hey, it's just me" he said his fingers tightening at Draco's waist.  
"I'm... I'm sorry" Shaking his head trying to move away but Rodney wasn't letting go. "you startled me"

"I didn't mean to" slowly Rodney drew Draco forward, sexual prowess gleamed in his eyes "I was just wondering where you had disappeared to"

Harry's plot had worked. The thought of another man touching him made him want to bolt, not that he'd ever intended for him and Rodney to become intimate.

"Rodney----" Draco sucked in a deep breath of dismay as Rodney's hands slid up his dress and groped him.  
"You like that?" he said near Draco's ear, obviously mistaking Draco's shock for pleasure. "how about we take a walk around the garden and find a spot where we can be alone for a bit?"

Draco grimaced, and his stomach lurched at the suggestion. Very calmly he removed Rodney's hand from his crotch, "If you don't mind, I think I'm ready to leave"

"Great" Rodney said enthusiastically, while passing a friendly hand over Draco's bottom and all but undressing him with his eyes "your place or mine?"  
Draco squirmed out of his reach "Mine. I've got a horrendous headache and the runs" he said effectively dousing the lustful look in Rodney's eyes.

Draco's lungs burned and the muscles in his legs strained with every stride. Normally he had Harry by his side goading him to keep running and not give up, but those days were a thing of the past. The thought of Harry, or rather his anger toward the man kept Draco's legs pumping and his mind focused. After Harry's outrageous behavior the night before, his own response to him and Rodney's obtuse attitude, Draco wanted nothing more than a little peace and quiet in his life. And no men to complicate it.  
His wish wasn't meant to be. The sound of an approaching jogger slowed by his side. Without looking Draco knew who it was, and refused to acknowledge the man responsible for his present black mood and sleepless night.  
Draco tried to hold tight to his anger, which proved to be difficult considering Harry kept staring at him and occasionally brushing his arm with his. Draco's senses had an annoying way of tingling whenever Harry was near, and he shook the sensation before he could do something stupid...such as be nice to Harry.  
Draco looked up at Harry and glared.  
Harry grinned. "Good morning, Sweetheart" he said cheerfully

"Go to Hell, Potter" clenching his teeth Draco lengthened his stride.

Harry's long, muscular legs easily and effortlessly kept by his side "Beautiful day, don't cha think"  
"It was until you showed up." taking a quick detour, Draco jogged up a grassy hill, leaving Harry momentarily behind.  
Deep laughter rippled along Draco's nerves, then Harry was besides him again "can't say I mind being behind every once in a while. The view is quite delectable

Harry continued to jog beside Draco. Draco kept hoping if he ignored Harry long enough he would just go away. No such luck though.  
"You know, I have to say you're getting good, Babe" Harry teased "usually by now youd've passed out on the side of the road."  
Harry's subtle jibe provoked Draco. On impulse, he hooked his foot around Harry's ankle and tripped him. Harry stumbled and fell on the grass with a string of curses.  
Grinning and enjoying his small victory, Draco turned around and jogged backwards so he could look at him. In his sweetest voice he said, "My, Harry, when did you get so clumsy?"  
Faster than a panther, Harry sprung back up. A determined, you're-gunna-pay look in his eyes. Draco's heart gave a frantic leap of apprehension. Knowing he was in big trouble, Draco whirled back around and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He was no match for Harry's speed. He anchored an arm around Draco's waist, throwing him off balance. With a shriek, Draco twisted around and grabbed for Harry in an effort to stop from falling, but he fell anyway, pulling Harry with him. Harry ended up sprawled on top of Draco, their faces inches apart.

Draco was instantly aware of Harry's hard body, slick with sweat against his own. His chest crushed against his own chest beneath the thin tank top he wore and his musky scent filled every breath Draco took in. The heat threatened to consume him. Draco struggled for freedom.  
Harry cocked his brow and kept Draco pinned beneath him "Clumsy, eh?" Harry's gaze focused on Draco's mouth, his eyes darkening. Alarm bells went of in Draco's head. If he didn't do something soon Harry was going to kiss him, and if his lips so much as touched him he didn't know if he had the strength to stop him. Harry's head lowered, along with his slightly parted lips. Draco turned his head just as Harry's mouth landed on his cheek. Except that didn't stop him. Harry's mouth moved along Draco's jaw, nuzzled his neck, while his body arched subtly, intimately into Draco's.   
Biting back a groan of pure need, Draco wound his fingers through Harry's thick, damp hair, and gently but firmly pulled his head back. "I suggest," he began in a voice more steely than he felt, "that you get off me before I scream my head off and have you arrested for assault"  
Harry's mouth curled into a smile "Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Harry drawled huskily "or just the wrong bed?"  
" GET...OFF...ME" Draco's low, precise tone held a warning.  
The dark brow remained cocked but Harry didn't argue. Slowly –oh, so slowly he slid off Draco and stood, then offered Draco his hand.  
Draco gave into the urge and punched Harry in the gut. His fist bounced off the well toned muscles and Harry didn't even flinch. "If you so much as touch me I won't be held responsible for my actions"  
Frowning, Harry rubbed the spot that Draco punched "You're mad at me?"  
Draco released a growl of frustration and stomped away, knowing if he stayed he would probably hex him "You catch on quick, Potter"  
Harry caught up to Draco but wisely didn't touch him. "What did I do?"  
"You know damn well what you did!" Draco yelled.  
Harry jammed his hands in his pockets and tilted his head. "you talking about last night?"  
"Yes you idiot" Draco hissed.  
A little smirk touched Harry's mouth "Oh, that" his tone was rough and sexy at the same time.  
"Yes 'that'" Draco repeated heatedly. He tried not to think about the incredible, erotic fantasy he'd fulfilled. "not only that but you walked away"  
Harry slowly wiped the sweat off his forehead, his eyes looked very pleased "Is that what's bothering you? That I walked away afterwards?"

"Ooh!" the enraged sound rumbled in Draco's chest. He clenched his fists at his sides. "you seduced me deliberately!"  
Harry's expression shifted, showing Draco his serious side. "I can't stand the thought of you sleeping with another man" he sounded and looked so vulnerable Draco wanted to weep. "It's not up to you who I sleep with, Harry. Not anymore. And you have no right to... To.."  
"Make love to you?" Harry offered helpfully.

"Yes!" there wasn't many people in the park, but the few that were, turned around and stared at them. Draco gave them a small smile.  
Harry lowered his voice "I didn't hear that mouth of yours say no. Not once. And I didn't do half the things I wanted to do to you."  
Draco gasped "You didn't give me the chance to say no"  
"As far as I was concerned, the moment I saw you wearing the stockings I sent, you were mine" Harry whispered.  
"That is so chauvinistic"  
Harry shrugged "It's the truth. I know you better than you think. You might have attended the party with Rodney but your heart and mind were with me all the time. And I don't think I have to remind you how hot your body was for me."  
"You're crazy" Draco said shaking his head.  
Harry caught his arm "Crazy for you, just like you're crazy for me" his gaze pierced Draco's soul "look me in the eyes and deny it"  
"You're being obsessive," Draco said on a low hiss of breath. "you treated me like a possession last night, and I resent that."  
"I treated you exactly how you wanted to be treated" Draco opened his mouth to issue a retort but Harry plowed on "maybe your mind is saying we're through but your body feels differently. Last night proved it.  
Harry let go of Draco's arm and pushed his fingers through his hair. "I can't believe you're wasting your time on that Rodney fella."

Draco didn't bother telling Harry that he'd broken things off with Rodney last night. "Just like I wasted my time on you?"  
Harry's mouth stretched into a grim line, and Draco could have sworn he saw hurt in Harry's eyes "Is that how you really feel about us?"  
Draco turned and started walking away without answering.  
Harry blocked his way, his body a formidable obstruction. "Dammit, answer me"  
Draco looked up at him. "I love you, Harry" Draco whispered, giving into the urge to touch Harry's cheek. "how can I love someone so much and think of our time together as a waste? I regret how things ended---"  
Harry caught Draco's wrist and pulled him close "no-one says it has to end" he said gruffly.

"I do" Draco's smile was shaky at best. "you can't give me what I need. You're not even willing to try"  
Harry's jaw hardened, along with his eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

The impossible, Draco thought "I want you to love me."

"How can I give you something that doesn't exist for me?" Harry let go of Draco's hand and rubbed his scar "Merlin Draco I don't even know what love is."

Draco explained it in the most simplistic terms he could "Love is caring, and sharing, and wanting to be with the other person so much it hurts when you're apart."

"I'm hurting Draco, more than I've hurt in my entire life" the truth of the statement reflected in his eyes "and I care"

They were missing one important element "But you don't share. You don't share what's deep in your mind"

Harry cringed, silently admitting the truth "Would it make a difference if I did?"

Draco had to think carefully before answering because he didn't want to lie to Harry  
"I honestly don't know if it would make a difference now, but maybe it would help me understand why you don't believe in love or why the word marriage makes you pale"  
Harry offered no explanation just stared at Draco. Draco reached up and gave Harry a gentle kiss said goodbye and walked away.  
This time when Draco walked away, Harry didn't try to stop him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Draco blinked his eyes open and groaned. He wanted to die. From heartbreak. And from the miserable bout of Flu that had been lingering for the past week. He picked up his wand and said tempus unable to believe he had slept until noon. He was so tired lately that no amount of sleep seemed to make him feel refreshed. With effort, he got out of bed, put on his old dressing gown and shuffled into the kitchen.

It was Sunday, but Ginny wasn't home. Draco was grateful. For the past 8 weeks since his fathers party, his best friend had been trying to snap him out of his depression. But Draco couldn't seem to summon up enough energy or enthusiasm to give into Ginny's prodding to 'get on with his life.'

Opening the cupboard, he reached in for the packet of Bertie Botts, then stopped when his stomach rebelled at his favorite snack. Tears welled in his eyes. Damn, now I'm crying over beans. Draco had been so emotional lately, the slightest, silliest things set him off and made him cry like a baby. Closing the cupboard, he made his way to the kitchen table, sank into a chair and rested his head on the cool wooden surface. He closed his eyes and attempted to relax.  
The first two weeks after the party he had spent refusing Harry's calls at the office, listening to his pleas on the answering machine at home and making Ginny turn him away at the door. Then it had all stopped. And the silence hurt worse than hearing the torment in his voice when he'd left his final "I care for you Draco but I Won't call or come round" message on the machine. Draco had listened to that message a thousand times since.  
Draco gulped back more tears. He missed Harry so much, and not for the first time wished they could go back to the way things were. Sighing he let his mind drift and the tension ease from his body. He grew lethargic. He was tired, so tired...  
A hand settled on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Hey, Dray, you ok?"  
Draco woke with a start and lifted his head from the table to find Ginny standing beside him with a concerned expression on her face. "I'm fine," Draco said, his voice hoarse. He glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that he had slept for nearly an hour. "I guess I kinda drifted off"  
"Yeah well you seem to be doing that a lot lately" Ginny said "at your desk at work, in the bath, sitting on the couch and now at the kitchen table. At first I took it personally when you drifted off to sleep while I was talking to you, as if I was boring you or something" she gave Draco a critical once-over that made him uncomfortable. And don't you think it's odd that you can't shake this flu you've had for the past week and that I haven't caught it?"  
Draco frowned. "I haven't really given it much thought."  
"Obviously" Ginny said dryly and she plunked a small brown bag down in front of Draco "but I have and I think I have finally figured out what is wrong"  
Draco had a feeling the cure was in the bag, which he eyes hesitantly "What's this?"  
"A little present for you" Ginny sat in the chair next to Draco's "go on open it"  
Draco did and gasped when he saw the contents "A pregnancy test, I'm sick Ginny not pregnant!"  
A red brow rose, enhancing Ginny's dubious expression.  
"I can't be pregnant" Draco said reasonably "I always use the anti-conception charm"  
"Which is only ninety-nine percent effective" Ginny pointed out "humor me, Dray take the test."  
Draco stood, his stomach churning with a sudden dread he refused to acknowledge. "You're wrong" he said. Grabbing the little brown bag, he disappeared into the bathroom, praying that Ginny was indeed wrong.

Less than ten minutes later he walked back into the kitchen, stunned to the point of numbness. Holding the test strip in his hand, he met Ginny's anxious gaze.  
"It's positive" he said, then burst into tears.  
"Oh, Dray" Ginny stood and wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug.  
Draco wiped the wetness from his cheeks, his shock fading into disbelief. "I just don't understand how it happened"

Ginny's mouth curled into a sly grin "It happens when two people have that recreational activity called sex, not that I recall what that's like. It's been so long I can almost qualify as a born again virgin."  
Despite his situation Draco smiled. Staring at the two lines on the strip confirming his condition he shook his head. "I guess I've just became a statistic."  
"What are you going to do Dray?" Ginny asked after a few minutes of silence.  
"I'm keeping the baby, of course" he said without a second thought  
"I didn't doubt that you would keep the baby" compassion softening Ginny's expression "What I meant was what are you going to tell Rodney?"  
"Why would I tell Rodney anything? I never slept with him" Draco answered  
"So who's the father? You haven't been with anyone else since your fathers party? Have you?" Ginny asked  
"It's Harry's" Draco whispered crying again.  
They sat down side by side on the lounge "It's not as if I didn't try and warn you." Ginny teased trying to lighten the mood "but did you listen to me OOOHHHH noooo now look at you heartbroken and pregnant" she paused "so what are you telling Harry?"  
Swiping the moisture trickling from the corner of his eyes Draco drew in a steadying breath "I'm not telling Harry."  
"Why not? she asked gently  
For all her brashness, Ginny could be sensitive at times. Usually the right times. "I don't want Harry to feel obligated to a child he didn't want in the first place"  
Ginny thought about that for a second the countered with "Don't you think he has a right to know he is going to be a father"  
Draco shook his head "If Harry knew about the baby he'd feel responsible to marry me, and I refuse to force him to do something he doesn't want to do. He had his chance to marry me, and instead he let me walk away"  
"But you being pregnant might change his mind"  
"For all the wrong reasons" he refuted "he made his feelings on marriage and children very clear. I don't want to be an obligation to Harry and this baby be an unwanted burden, one he would grow to resent. This isn't an issue that is up for negotiation."  
Jade green eyes held understanding "Well, you have no choice but to tell your parents about the new addition to the family. Not to mention you won't be marrying the baby's father."

Draco's head began to throb at the thought of telling his very old-fashioned parents. Oh they would be pleased that they were going to be grandparents but not so happy to learn he was planning on being a single parent. "Mum and Dad will learn to adjust. This is the nineties. People have babies on their own all the time."

This baby hadn't been planned by any means but it had been created out of love. And his child would know love, Draco though determinedly. Lots of love. From a caring dad, a neurotic godmother and enthusiastic grandparents.

"Wow, a baby" Ginny sighed, a wistful quality to her voice "do you think it's a girl or boy?"  
Draco closed his eyes, seeing a little girl with Harry's dark hair and green eyes, then a little boy with similar coloring "it doesn't matter, as long as it healthy"  
Ginny grinned "If my vote counts for anything, I hope it's a girl"  
Draco groaned, imagining the bond Ginny would form with her god-daughter "and the first words out of her mouth would be 'Lets go shopping"  
"Of course" Ginny laughed, her eyes sparkling wickedly "Whatever it is, a boy or a girl, I plan to spoil this baby rotten"

Draco wasn't sure if he liked the sound of that "Do I have any say in the matter?"  
"Absolutely not." Ginny's humor faded into a tender expression. "I still can't believe your going to be a Mummy."

Draco rubbed his stomach, already experiencing a fierce protectiveness towards his unborn child "Yeah, though this isn't the way I planned it."  
"Some things are better not planned"  
Emotions constricted Draco's throat "Maybe you're right" he whispered  
"Aren't I always" Ginny said with her regular dose of sass. Then she grew serious "I'll be there for you, Dray, in any way I can."  
Draco leant over and hugged his best friend. Damn. More tears. Would they ever stop? "Thanks Gin, that means more to me than you will ever know."

Ginny pulled back, frowning "Hey, what's with all the tears?  
"Damn hormones" Draco muttered, though he knew hormones had little to do with it. These tears were for Harry and all the joy he was going to miss not being a part of his baby's life.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

"wasn't that incredible" Draco was filled with excitement as he and Ginny excited the mediwitches office and walked across the road to the parking lot. He had just had his five month checkup and ultrasound, and was thrilled to find not one but two Little babies were in there and were both healthy.  
Yeah, it was" Ginny agreed smiling "it was amazing to see their Little heartbeats and to see them actually move inside you. Too bad the Little critters wouldn't open their legs so we could have a peek"  
"just think what a surprise it'll be when they come" Draco dug his car keys out of his pocket "and you Will be there when it happens"   
"I don't know about this coaching stuff" Ginny said as they slipped into the car "you know how I am with blood"  
"you'll be fine" Draco buckled his seatbelt over his expanding belly and gave Ginny a pat on the knee. "I'll be the one in pain"

"Harry should have been the one in there today, not me" Ginny said quietly  
Draco sighed, staring out the window at nothing. He had thought the same thing. When he'd seen and felt the babies move within him he had been breathless with wonder, and on the heels of that came a twinge of sadness that Harry wasn't there to see it  
He couldn't help feel doubts and guilt for keeping Harry's babies a secrete. He was the babies father after all, but his arguments always whittled down to the same issue. Harry didn't want children. Ever. Oh, he had no doubt that Harry would take responsibility for the babies but Draco didn't want his acceptance to be one of financial obligation. He wanted it borne of unconditional love for the children.  
"I've got a craving for a caeser salad." He said changing the subject "how about lunch on me at the 'fire in the belly'"  
Ginny lifted her brow "that's way across town"  
Draco shrugged and started the car 'but it's my favorite place. I haven't been there since..." Harry he swallowed the name always on his mind and in his heart and finished with "well in a while. I have had a craving for their salads for the past month"

Ginny held her hands up in surrender. 'who am I to stand in the way of a pregnant woman's craving?"  
Draco grinned at his best friend "you're one smart woman" 

"well, I do have to say that your prices are more than fair, and your references are impeccable" Severus Snape set Harry's five-page proposal back down on the table and leaned back with a satisfied smile on his face. "I've put off a new security system for long enough. The job is yours if you want it."  
Harry stared at the older man for a moment, unable to drum up any excitement for the sis-figure deal Snape had accepted so effortlessly. Where was the elation that cam from such an easy victory?  
"well potter do we have a deal or not?" Snape asked "I'm anxious to get the security system installed"   
Harry would be a fool to turn down such an easy profitable deal. " I'll have the contract drawn up and to you by tomorrow and start installing it as soon as we get the contract signed."

"splendid. I'm looking forward to doing business with you" Snape said  
"I'm looking forward to doing the job" Harry's reply came automatically, considering he didn't look forward to doing much these days. Since his breakup with Draco, work had become an escape, a way to keep his mind off what he'd let slip through his fingers. Even the ruthless drive he once had to build his security firm into the thriving business had lost its appeal and excitement.  
One night, while sitting in the dark in his lounge room nursing a beer, he'd come to the realization that his life had no real purpose or direction. Oh, sure he was wealthy enough that he could purchase anything money could buy, but it wasn't material items he wanted. No his longing went much deeper than buying something on a whim. The yearning had settled in his soul, making him restless lonely and miserable.  
The deep ache would fade in time, he kept telling himself but, dammit, how long would he have to wait until his heart didn't hurt anymore? How long before he could look at another man and not see something that reminded him of Draco? How long before the deep regret of letting Draco walk out of his life would fade?  
Forever. The thought that came was suffocating and scary.

The waitress arrived with the bill, and Harry mentally shoved his thoughts back into the dark secluded spot in his soul where he kept them hidden. After paying the bill, he grabbed his briefcase and he and Snape slid from the booth, heading towards the exit of the fire in the belly. Harry past a young cute host as he led a couple to a table. He gave Harry a seductive smile that made his interest in him very clear. Harry waited for a stirring of attraction, a spark of desire, but none came. He'd become a goddamned monk since Draco.

The waiting room was crowded with lunchtime patrons waiting for a table. Harry's steps slowed as his gaze slid over silky blonde hair cut into a shoulder length bob style that reminded him of Draco's . he could have sworn he caught a whiff of the aftershave Draco fancied.  
Harry shook his head. Hard. He couldn't see the man's face but then he already knew it wasn't Draco. It never was. One time he had made a fool of himself running after someone who looked so much like Draco from behind, only to grab him and turn him around and have a strange woman stare at him as if he was crazy.  
Some days Harry thought he was losing his mind

Keeping his eyes on the exit sign over the door, Harry fumbled for the open roll of quikeze in his pants. He heard husky laughter, so much like Draco's. Harry swore beneath his breath as he crunched into the chalky tablet. Impatient to be gone from the restaurant and the memories that were beginning to crowd him Harry pushed open the doors, let snap precede him, and started out behind him.  
"Draco Malfoy, party of two, please," the hostess announced over the intercom.  
Harry froze. His heart thudded in his ears and his chest tightened painfully. He had to have heard wrong either that or he was closer to insanity than he originally thought.  
"how long do I have to put up with these cravings of yours?" Harry heard a familiar voice ask from behind him a sassy voice from the past.  
That sweet laughter again "only four more months"

The other woman groaned" this I can handle, but I draw the line at pickles and ice-cream"  
The exchange seemed surreal to Harry but he found himself turning slowly around. He let the door shut, rudely shutting professor Snape outside by himself. Harry couldn't bring himself to care, because this was probably some sort of dream.

The saw the blonde and brunette heading toward the waiting waitress. Before he lost his nerve Harry called "Draco?" Draco turned around with a smile on his face and eyes bright with amusement, but when he saw Harry, his whole expression changed into one of shock and disbelief.

Their gazes locked. "Harry?" Draco's voice cracked.  
Draco clearly wasn't overjoyed to see Harry. He watched Harry warily and with an unreserved apprehension that annoyed Harry. Guest entered and exited the restaurant but Harry's sole focus remained on the one man he couldn't forget.  
Ginny stepped in front of Draco, her stance fierce and protective. "Harry, Draco doesn't want to see you, so I suggest you just leave and not make a scene"  
Irritation propelled Harry forward, and he slowly weaved his way around people in the waiting area. He caught Draco's gaze and held it "let me hear that from Draco"  
Ginny's chin jutted out, but before she could respond, Snape came back through the door. He glanced from Harry to Draco, took in the scene that looked like a showdown was about to happen, and said "uh, you two been dating I see"  
"yes" Harry responded as Draco said "No"  
"No?" Harry lifted a mocking brow, remaining focused on Draco's face. you've already forgotten how intimately we know each other? Harry's eyes asked. You can put me out of your mind so easily when I've spent the past 5 months in pure misery, wanting no other man but you?  
Eyes wide, Draco took a hesitant step back, but there was really nowhere for him to escape, considering the exit was behind Harry. It's over Harry. It's over! Draco's look frantically told him. But it was the undisguised fear in the depths that made Harry pause. His steps slowed as he neared, and it was then that he realized that Draco looked... different. His face was fuller than he remembered, but no less beautiful. Harry's gaze traveled lower, following the collar of Draco's shirt. The shirt flared slightly at the waist and settled against s rounded belly too firm to be excess fat.  
Draco was undoubtfully pregnant.

The savage pain and jealousy that laced through Harry was near unbearable. His heart hurt, his mind reeled. More confusing was the brief thought that he wished it was his child. Harry swore bluntly.  
"if you two Will excuse us," Harry said tightly, glancing from Severus to Ginny and giving them a look sure to quell any argument "I'd like to talk to Draco privately for a few minutes."  
Draco gave Ginny a look of sheer desperation, but his best friend only said " you need to tell him"  
Tell him what? Harry wondered. That he'd found another man willing to give him what him everything he himself couldn't?

Severus, taking his cue from Ginny nodded and stepped her way "what do you say I buy you a drink, miss Weasley?"  
Grinning wryly, Ginny hooked her arm through the one Severus offered "yeah, I think I could use a butterbeer"  
Harry could've used a drink too but instead he gave the impatiently waiting hostess a tight smile and asked her to hold Draco's reservation.  
The hostess returned to her post and called another party, leaving Harry and Draco in the midst of patrons coming and going from the restaurant. The spot wasn't ideal for a private conversation, but at this point Harry wasn't going to be picky, and he didn't think Draco would agree to go someplace secluded.  
Draco nervously dragged his tongue across his bottom lip and shifted uncomfortably. Finally, he spoke "how are you?"  
"just dandy," Harry drawled sarcastically "and you?"  
Draco looked everywhere but at him "fine"  
Despite being torn up inside, Harry wanted to touch Draco so badly his fingers tingled. But Draco wasn't his to touch longer. No, judging by his condition, he belonged to another man.  
That thought put a bitter taste in Harry's mouth "I see you didn't waste any time starting a family. Who's the lucky guy? Rodney?"  
Draco's gaze jerked back to Harry's. a flash of hurt entered his eyes then he quickly glanced away again. "It doesn't matter, Harry" he said softly  
"it sure as hell does" Harry bit out "we've been split up for what a whole five months and now you've managed to find yourself a new husband---"  
"it could have been you Harry" Draco said in response.  
Harry's jaw tightened. That's what galled him the most. The pure, undiluted regret he lived with every day. He hadn't been able to offer Draco what he wanted, but that selfish, aching part of him didn't want anyone else to have him "so you just happened to fall in love with someone else?" that selfish part lashed out, wanting to hurt Draco as much as he hurt. Love, he was quickly learning, wasn't always a pretty emotion. "that's pretty damned convenient, wouldn't you say?"  
Draco's face flushed and he suddenly looked every bit as furious as Harry was. And deeper, Harry saw the hurt. Curiously it gave him Little satisfaction.  
"I didn't fall in love with anyone else" Draco's voice was low and modulated.  
Harry laughed, a mocking sound "I guess that just goes to show you that you don't always need love to get married, do you?"  
"I'm not married," Draco snapped, then gasped in shock at his own confession  
Harry blinked, and like a cold does of reality, Draco's words seeped through the haze of anger blinding him to all the obvious signs. His gaze narrowed, and he took a closer look at Draco and the changes in his body. He knew Little to nothing about pregnant woman or men, but his gut instinct gnawed at him. Apprehension and fear mingled, along with a greater emotion he couldn't put a name to.

Draco placed a possessive hand on his stomach, his expression reflecting his panic. "Harry, I have to go" he said abruptly, and turned toward the bar to retrieve Ginny.  
Without a thought Harry grabbed Draco's arm, stalling him, his heart pounding so hard he could hear each drumming pulse in his ears.  
Draco tugged on his arm, but Harry's grasp was strong. "let me go, Harry"  
"whose baby is it?" Harry asked, his voice as tight as the pressure banding his chest.  
"they are mine" Draco said fiercely  
"They!" he ground his teeth "dammit, Draco who is the father?"  
"it's none of your business!" Draco yelled  
Harry leaned close "I'm making it my business"  
Tears filled Draco's eyes and his bottom lip trembled. With great effort Harry resisted the urge to pull Draco into his arms, comfort him and apologize for his callous behavior.  
He wasn't sorry. And he wanted answers. He didn't question why the need was so strong, only knew that he couldn't let Draco go without knowing the truth. Dismay flittered across Draco's face "why do you care?" he cried  
"Because I love you" that's the only explanation Harry's heart and mind would allow him to say "now answer me" he said harshly  
Draco closed his eyes and when they opened again Harry saw, as well as felt Draco's defeat. "you Harry," Draco whispered in a choked voice as a single tear trickled down his cheek. "you're the father of my babies".  
Stunned Harry let go of Draco's arm and felt himself sway backwards. He tried to drag a breath of air into his lungs, but oxygen suddenly seemed in short supply.  
Draco pushed past Harry and out the door, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. He went after Draco, catching him halfway down the walkway leading to the car park. "dammit Draco" Harry said standing in front of Draco and forcing him to stop "I'm not done talking to you!"

Draco lifted that stubborn chin of his. Fire flashed in his eyes "there's nothing to talk about"

"why didn't you tell me about the babies when you found out you were pregnant?" Harry asked with more calm than he felt.  
"because you were better off not knowing" Draco replied bluntly.  
Harry flinched as if he'd physically slapped him. What kind of monster did he think he was to think he didn't care about Draco's welfare? "since I'm the father, I have a responsibility to those children"  
"A responsibility you've made more than clear you don't want. I don't expect anything from you. I'm fully prepared to raise these children on my own." Draco laid a possessive hand on the swell of his belly "I don't want these babies to be some great, noble sacrifice for you. An obligation. I deserve better than that and so do your children"  
Draco's words felt like a double punch to his stomach. Oh Merlin he was right. He did deserve better, so much better, and so did the babies. The babies were better off not having him as a father, he knew nothing but the worst about raising a child and being a dad, having learnt from the dursleys. A strange sense of despair wrapped around Harry. He gulped in a breath. There was one selfless act he could do for his children. It killed him to turn and walk away, made a part of his soul shrivel and die, but he did just that. There was no way he would ever subject his children to the hell he'd been through


	9. Chapter 9

"Buckle up"  
Draco cast Harry an annoyed look, but did as he requested, considering he was already backing his BMW away from the curb. He never knew what to expect from Harry anymore, since the day he'd barged into Draco's office a week ago demanding he allow him to be a part of his children's lives.  
Draco sighed, feeling impatient and weary. "Harry you can't keep kidnapping me whenever the whim hits you!"  
Harry slid on his sunglasses and merged with the traffic. "I'm not kidnapping you."

"Then what do you call that stunt you pulled in the car park 'get in the car and please don't make a scene'" Draco said, reciting his exact words.

A grin curved Harry's mouth "Hey, I was polite about it. There were people around—I didn't want them listening to our conversation. Since you got in the car I figured you didn't either."  
Draco ground his teeth at Harry's logic "Ginny will be expecting me back at the office in an hour."  
"Ginny can wait. This can't" Harry stopped the car at an intersection, and glanced at Draco "we need to talk Dray."  
"I don't want to talk" Draco said his tone firm.  
"Fine, then you can listen."  
Draco didn't want to listen to what Harry had to say, but other than jumping out of a moving vehicle, he had no choice. Determined not to say a word or contribute to the conversation in any way, he focused his attention out the passenger window.  
Harry turned onto the highway. "You know I want to be a part of the babies lives—"  
Draco's head snapped around and he cut Harry off before he could complete his sentence "I told you I wouldn't deny you that" so much for being quiet and unresponsive.  
A small smile quirked the corner of Harry's mouth "Good because I'm not giving you a choice."  
Draco bristled in irritation. Who did he think he was that he could make a statement like that? The babies father that's who came the answer in Draco's head. Harry had every legal right to demand equal time with his children.  
"I want to be a part of your pregnancy, too."  
"You do? Draco asked doubtfully and a little suspiciously.  
"Yeah" excitement laced Harry's words. "I can go to doctor's appointments with you, can't I?"  
"Yes" Draco nearly chocked on the word, but knew he couldn't deny Harry the chance to hear their little heartbeats or see them moving around inside him. Draco blew out an aching breath. Sharing the stages of his pregnancy with Harry was going to be a joyful, yet painful time for him.  
"And how about the classes where they teach you to breath funny?" Harry asked.  
That where Draco firmly drew the line. Ginny was his Lamaze partner . Besides how would Draco concentrate on his breathing in class when the man he loved was rubbing his back or gently caressing his belly?  
"Ginny is my coach," Draco said, hoping to dispel any notion or obligation Harry felt to be by his side during labor.  
"No way," Harry said adamantly "no offence to Ginny, but I want to be there when they are born."  
Feeling drained and uncertain about this whole part-time parent stuff Draco rested his head in the seat "Harry you don't have to do this—"  
"I want to do this. I insist on doing this" Harry exited the highway and came to a stop sign at the base of a hill. He transferred his gaze to Draco for a second to give him the full effect of his grim expression "You're not going to make my participation in the babies lives difficult are you?"  
"Of course not" Draco said, his temper raising "I just don't want you to think I'm going to make demands on your time"  
Harry smiled very slowly, erasing that intimidating expression. "You won't have to, because I'm going to be around a lot."  
Great, just great. Draco rubbed his forehead as the car rolled forward, "I know you're busy Harry. I don't expect you to see them every day."  
"I'll make time. Every day."

Harry pulled into his driveway and cut the engine in front of his huge elegant two-story house. Draco stared up at the house, a house built and designed for a bachelor with no intentions of getting tied down to a husband and children. No a family hadn't been on Harry's mind when he was building this house.  
The warmth of Harry's hand sliding down Draco's shoulder towards his waist startled Draco out of his thoughts. His breath caught sharply and he grasped Harry's wrist, though Harry didn't seem inclined to remove his hand from the taut curve of his belly.   
"Harry..." Draco's voice quivered, as did his body. He'd missed Harry's touch, and hated that he was so weak he didn't have the will to pull Harry's hand away.  
Harry's fingers probed Draco's firm stomach. "I've been wanting to do that since that day in your office, but I was afraid you would sock me" he smiled ruefully.  
Draco's grip on Harry's wrist relaxed, foolishly giving him free rein to explore his stomach. "What makes you think I won't now?"  
Harry chuckled, the deep, sexy sound making Draco shiver. "I'll take my chances, Sweetheart" he said voice amused. "have you felt them move yet?"  
Draco smiled, wanting nothing more than to share his body's changes with Harry. "Yeah"  
Harry's eyes sparkled enthusiactally. "What does it feel like?"  
"It feels like a butterfly fluttering around in my belly, with a few swift jabs for good measure" without thinking of the implications Draco slid his hand over the back of Harry's and moved it lower to where he felt the most movement.  
"You look beautiful like this you know?" Harry said huskily.  
He was melting away Draco's defenses by attacking his weak points—his desire and love for him. "Harry don't do this—"  
Harry cocked his head innocently, making him more irresistible than he already was "Do what?"  
Swallowing the thick need gathering in his throat, Draco withdrew Harry's hand from his stomach "Make this arrangement any more difficult than it is."

"Is there something wrong with telling the person carrying my children that he's beautiful?" Harry asked.  
Yes ! Draco wanted to scream. Especially when this man's heart had been shattered into a million pieces. Biting his lip to keep the words from escaping, he turned his gaze away from Harry. With a gentle, persuasive pressure of his fingers on Draco's cheek, Harry bought his face back toward him. "I haven't stopped wanting you Draco." his voice soft and sincere. "if anything, the time apart has only intensified my feelings towards you. Made me realize exactly what was missing from my life."  
Draco pulled his chin out of Harry's grasp, trying not to soften to his will. It proved to be one of the most difficult feats of his life "What are we doing here Harry?" he asked tiredly.  
Harry stared up at the house for a long, quiet moment then said "I want to show you the interior."  
Draco opened his mouth to say no but there was something in Harry's eyes, a combination of hope and anticipation that changed his answer to yes. At his nod, Harry released a relieved breath, quickly climbed out of the car and came around and opened the door for Draco.  
With his hand secured in Harry's, he followed him inside the house and the staircase to the second floor. All the while he sensed a coil of nervousness in Harry's body with every step. Harry paused at the guest room, his free hand resting on the doorknob.

Draco frowned. What was so spectacular about his guest room that had Harry so tied up in knots.? Harry slowly opened the door...and then Draco knew.  
Nothing had prepared Draco for what he saw or the overwhelming emotions tumbling through him. Harry released Draco's hand, and as if drawn in by an invisible string, he tentatively stepped inside the newly decorated room.  
A nursery. Oh, Merlin.  
Two white cots, matching change table and drawers replaced the queen-size canopied bed that had occupied the room before. A rocking chair was positioned near the window, two big, soft teddy bears with huge red bows sitting on either side of the chair.  
Draco's chest tightened when he realized the wallpaper was the one he would have chosen—a carousel of plump, whimsical zoo animals in soft pastel colors. Obviously this room had been professionally decorated, but how had Harry known this was the design he'd envisioned for his own nursery?  
Draco moved toward the cot. He touched one of the stuffed animals hanging from the mobile, and the attached music box tinkled out a strain of 'You are my sunshine' there was no doubt that his children would be happy here, in this delightfully decorated room.  
A sob of despair broke from him, tears blurred his vision, but he managed to blink them back. Dammit, this isn't fair  
"What, you don't like it?" at some point Harry has moved to his side "Ginny swore this was the pattern you said you wanted for the babies nursery"  
"Oh it is" damn Ginny anyway. How could his best friend betray him this way?  
"Well, then?" Harry clearly wanted an explanation for his emotional outburst.  
Draco forced a smile, which was shaky at best considering he was dying inside. This part-time custody was going to kill him "I'm sure the babies will love it"

Harry pushed his hands into his pockets "I'm hoping so, since they will be spending so much time in here."  
Draco stared at Harry in sudden horror. Had he gone through so much trouble with the nursery because he was considering full-time custody? The thought made Draco's blood run cold and his defenses to rise. "You have every right to see them as often as you like. He said in a voice that showed the fury steaming within him "but I refuse to allow these babies to be raised by a nanny."  
"A nanny?" a gentle smile touched Harry's mouth and entered his eyes "oh, I must have forgotten to tell you---"  
"Tell me what?" Draco demanded.  
"That I want you to live here too" Harry answered.  
Draco tried, but failed to contain the hysterical laughter bubbling inside him. "That's quite a convenient arrangement for you."  
"Yeah, I guess it is." Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "but then why wouldn't I want my husband and children living in my house?"  
White-hot anger swirled within Draco "You know how I feel about living with you, and I resent the fact you would use the children to... to.." Harry's comment slowly seeped through his tirade, and his heart nearly stopped "What did you say?" he breathed, afraid to believe, to hope.  
"I said---"  
"But did you mean it?" he asked swiftly, as if Harry speaking the words out loud would somehow dilute their meaning.  
"Yes, I---"  
"You really want to get married?"  
Harry separated the distance between them, wrapped one arm around Draco's back and hauled him to him, using his free hand to cover Draco's mouth. "Yeah I really want to"  
"Mrmph"  
"Hush, Draco," Harry said gently. Then, as if knowing what assurances Draco was searching for, he went on "I want to get married, not because I think it is the right thing to do or even because of the babies. It's because I love you, and I'm miserable without you. I want grow old with you, and share your hopes and dreams"  
Pulling Harry's hand from his mouth, he smiled up at Harry "You're pretty darn close to making all my dreams come true."  
Harry folded him into his embrace and rubbed his cheek against Draco's hair, speaking near his ear "I was so afraid of falling in love, but you know what? That fear doesn't compare to the fear of losing you. I know it won't be easy, being a husband and a father, but I'm going to do my damndest to make sure you don't regret marrying me."  
Draco lifted his head to look up at Harry, content and secure in his arms. "How could I, when I've waited my whole life for you?"  
Harry sank his fingers into Draco's hair and tilted his face up to his for a tender kiss. He sighed against Draco's lips then grinned "Thank Merlin I came to my senses in time."  
"Yeah, you were a little slow in coming around." Draco wound his arms around Harry's neck "are you sure this is what you want? Marriage and kids"  
Harry's eyes gleamed "Absolutely, without a doubt"  
Draco toyed with the collar of Harry's shirt, needing a deeper explanation for his change of heart. "What changed your mind?"  
"I want to give my children everything I never had as a child," his voice deep with conviction "unconditional love. My undivided attention. A father they can be proud of. I want to make a difference in their life. And your strength and love will help me along the way. I'll probably need as much guidance as the kids, but I know I can do this with you by my side."  
Draco smiled, realizing that Harry had finally come to terms with his childhood and wanted to make a better life for his kids. "I'm with you every step of the way."

Harry brushed the back of his knuckles across Draco's cheek "I want us to be the family I never had, and the family you always wanted."  
"Oh, Harry," Draco whispered. This time, the tears that filled his eyes were ones of happiness "I love you."  
"Yeah, I love you too. And that's a guarantee you can count on" Harry murmured. He sealed his vow with a breath-stealing kiss that left no doubt in Draco's mind, or heart that Harry was in this forever.


	10. Chapter 10

Epilogue

"Ok Draco, when the next contraction comes I want you to push real hard, and that should do it" Draco's doctor said from the end of the birthing table.  
"Come on Honey, just one more push" Harry whispered encouragingly as he rubbed a spot low on Draco's back that had been bothering him since his labor had started ten hours ago. He had been amazed at how strong Draco had been through out the long drawn out process  
"I've changed my mind Harry I don't want kids anymore" Draco whined 'it hurts"  
Harry laughed "I think it's a bit late to be thinking that Baby, it will be over soon, you just need to push one more time."  
"I don't want to fucking push!" Draco screamed "you want these fucking babies so much you get on the frickin table and push. Just leave me alone, Potter, I don't want to see you."  
Harry stared at Draco. He hadn't heard Draco swear so much since their school days. "You know I would do it for you if I could. If you really want me to leave I will" Harry stopped rubbing Draco's back and started to walk away.  
"Harry! Don't leave me I'm sorry. I didnt mean that" Draco cried.

Draco began his breathing again, indicating another contraction was on it's way. Harry tensed right along with his husband.  
"Come here, dad, quick,' the mediwitch said to Harry. "this is something you don't want to miss."  
Harry was torn between obeying the mediwitch's orders and remaining by his husband's side. Draco made the decision for him. With a reassuring smile, he said in between pants of breath, "Go I'll be fine."

Harry rounded the table and stood next to the mediwitch, his eyes widening at the miracle in process "Oh my god, Draco the baby has a head" he cried  
Draco gave a strangled laugh that turned into a groan as his belly spasmed. He gave a mighty push as his body demanded, and Harry watched as one of their babies slipped into the hands of the mediwitch. Wearily Draco slumped back onto the bed.  
The baby wailed. Harry stood stunned, awed, paralyzed by an overwhelming wave of emotion as he watched the baby squirm in the mediwitch's hands.

"It's a girl," the mediwitch announced with a broad smile, and the nurses standing nearby issued congratulations. Grabbing a pair of sterile scissors, the mediwitch handed them to Harry. "The honor is all yours dad" Harry stared at the scissors in horror, until the mediwitch chuckled and explained, "you get to cut the cord"  
nervously, Harry severed the connection between the baby and Draco. The nurse whisked the baby away to be cleaned and have her vitals checked.

"I don't want to be a bother or anything" Draco started "but HELLO I still have one stuck in me ya know."

Eight minutes later Draco gave birth to a little boy.

Stunned Harry made his way back to Draco's side "A daughter and a son" he whispered because he didn't want to wake the babies sleeping next to their father "we have a daughter and a son"

Draco smiled tiredly "Yeah we do.'  
Harry didn't think it was possible, but his love for Draco had increased over the four months of their married life, and after the gifts he had given him today Harry was bursting with emotion "Thank you." he said.

Draco grabbed Harry's shirt and pulled him down for a quick kiss. 'I think you had a hand at this too, Potter."  
"A hand?" Harry murmured, grinnig wickedly against Draco's soft mouth "and here I thought it was that other part of my body that did the trick."  
Draco rolled his eyes.

A mediwitch came over and picked up the babies as they started whimpering and to Harry's dismay she put them in his arms. Maddison Rose and Xander Harrison as he and Draco had decided to call them had healthy sets of lungs and had no problem voicing their displeasure. Their faces were red and their little hands were curled into flailing fists.  
Harry looked at Draco for help. He'd been so poised and controlled all through the birth and now with his children in his arms he was nervous and uncertain. His children depended on him and he didn't have a clue as how to soothe them.  
"What do I do?" he asked anxiously.  
Draco gently touched his daughters head stroking the soft dark hair there "Hold them close and love them." he said simply.  
As Harry cuddled his babies close and rocked gently their cries settled. He looked between the babies and thought they were the most beautiful children he had ever seen. tears stung the back of his eyes.

Hold them close and love them Harry thought. He didn't think that would ever be a problem. Not when they already had him wrapped around their little fingers.

The end


End file.
